Hilarious: Divorced man

A man, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating what the future would be after he had divorced his wife; lost his children and his job... He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it. He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are the reason I don’t have a wife", second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children", third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job". He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer.

He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says "Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved.”

WHAT DO YOU WANT IN LIFE?

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long," answered the Mexican. "But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican answered, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life." The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat." "And after that?" asked the Mexican. "With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise." The Mexican asked, "How long would that take?" "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American. The Mexican asked, "And after that?" Laughing, the American replied, “Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting. When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!" The Mexican was excited and he asked, "Millions, really! And after that?" "After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying with your friends." The Mexican said, “But I am already doing these things!” Moral: Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.